I remember when,
                Their words would reduce to tears, and i would lock myself in my school bathroom until the bell rang. I remember the opinion of everyone but me, mattered to me. I remember when i defined my happiness and satisfaction or whatever that thing is supposed to be by the standards others set. The time when i was fixated on pleasing everyone else and seldom please myself.
I remember,
         Being afraid to look into mirrors, afraid to accept me for me, struggling to live up to stupid standards. I remember the rare occasions that i did in fact look at my reflection, the splash of water on my brown face, wishing the water could remove the stains, the scar that was me...I remember the horror that would grip me, plagued by insecurities, filled with feeling of inferiority. The questions of Why me? Why not me? The never ending torturous thoughts, I wondered if I would ever be good enough.
I remember when,
           All i could think about was their malicious words, their 'perfect faces, bodies, smiles' their abundant social circles...they had it ALL..and I, I had nothing.....oh how i tried to feign indifference, suppress my sorrows... the pain which slowly ruptured my inner being, the hurt which mercilessly ruptured my soul. I would let their words get to me, their hurtful, painful comments left me sore, torn , helpless.
I remember when,
           There was no one for me to run too, one broken soul, defenceless against the masses. "Maybe if they all have a problem with me ..then..then maybe nothing is wrong with them maybe it's all ME!" But what could I have possibly done to deserve that...the unforgiving sin just was BEING ME.
But ,
Cry, scream, cry , northing would change. They would never change.... and my despondence was just rewarding them...I heard someone say "The one who gets you  mad is your MASTER!" ..MY MASTER...surely I was,I am , I will forever be many things but NEVER a SLAVE...So i started change...that was my epiphany..I readily accepted me for me.. and by change I mean..I grew appreciative of WHO I AM...and only changed how i reacted to their cruelty...happiness; self satiation comes from within...no longer was i seeking their acceptance...I just wanted to enjoy my life as me..what good would it be..if i spent MY LIFE, MY TIME acting as someone else.....I am flawed and so are they...I accept me for me and I see no need to mask my short comings...I see no need to condescend anyone to feel better about myself. I love me now and I'm glad I do because I was in a bad place..i crawled out of that dungeon and I am never   falling back in.
Everyone recognizes the need for change at a different time  ....thankfully I have changed for the better ...I'm glad I have changed, I'm glad I'm me..I'm thrilled I accept me for me..And I will never allow anyone to be my Master again. I control my own destiny and my own happiness..No more tears.. I just smile at the world and most of the world smiles back at me : >)  (< :    **********`~~~~~~~~`***********